Ya know folks, I was watching Heros the other day and ever sinse the first episode i have been wondering what it is about Hiro that i like him so much, and its this. (Awesome power aside of course).
Hiro, to me represents the good of man! its that simple. He is such a wonderful harmless gentle soul in a world of potential bruts. Dont get me wrong, Pete Petrelli is a nice guy, but Hiro is just the warmest representation of decency that i have seen in a long time. You dont get many people like him anynmore because the world tends to step on them or beat and bully them until they are no more (Hiro of the future being a classic example), but Hiro - What a guy. Well deserve'd of a Dark Half Oscar just for being him. great bloke no mistake!
And did anyone elses blood run cold when Syler got Claire? - didnt see that coming! - Bravo!
And bloody hell wasnt DW just the second cumming! awesome episode!!!!! Oscars all round boys! and ok, i can say it here but would never admitt to anyones face, but there were tears in my eyes when he held the master and pleaded with him to regenerate - Oh to be the last one, how desperately lonely:o( - Tennant! A very special dark half oscar for you mate (cuz you know he reads my blog as well.lol) youre a good actor, he'll go far that kid!
Even the guy who played the Master did an excellent job - not sure you played a brillant Master, but you did play an awesome Villan.
And Martha - outstanding!
And i shall control my Sci-fi outbursts from now on.lol (Unless Heros is mega brill on monday, in which case i just wont be able to help myself)
Love you all
The Silent O
Saturday 30 June 2007
Thursday 28 June 2007
Mass victimization.lol
Hip Hip - Horrar!!
from July 1st (and we have all seen the adverts and certainly seen the stickers - they got them in early.lol) - Britain becomes a smoke free nation.
Right! im on me soap box so quiet for a moment because im not liking the way this is being handled!
Dont get me wrong folks, i think the new law is fine, smokers smoke is one of those things that we cant control, it does annoy other people and to that end it should be banned. - I dont buy into the idea of passive smoking. I believe it should be banned for the health of the individuals who start.
Whats really getting on my nerves here is the new bans link to cancer research. - did i miss something really obvious? did my parents not use certain methods of control on me as a kid? (stop windging, whats ya point O?)
My point is this - If, for one second i am to take this ban seriously (with reference to its cancer research link) why dont they take fags off the bloody shelves!!!? if you are serioius about a link to cancer research and you are to be seen to be "doing something about it"! why dont you go the whole bloody hog? take it off shelves, ban it coming into the country via tourists and smugglers, i mean a complete wipeout of tobacco related products.
Instead of this halfarsed milky tea atempt to say we are "doing something about it" - my arse!
But of course, i forgot. taking it off the shelves would create gaps in revenue, it would create significant wholes in the pockets of wolesalers and retailers and tax bill nationwide! and we cant have that!
Look, i would love to say to you all that i welcome the ban but i dont, i see this step as a piss take and a victimization of a minority group who are already in a one down position because they have the habbit.
Help, real help, a real significant step - no, the only step take in the battle against us smokers is a complete removal! do that and i will sign any document or patition needed to carry it through. But this bullshit ban that comes into effect in july is, in my view pointless. - bloody nanny state!
and for all those of you who say we shouldnt have started in the first place you only have yourselves to blame and you wont get my sympathy... - F**KOFF!
Nobody who has ever smoked truely understood what they were getting into, and once your in, well..
So there ya go! ...but i still aint finished!
I dont drink. I have done, i used to, i remember the good old days of my youth being so drunk that i had no idea how i got home and "did i pass my nother when i came in??, what did she say?? what did i say???". I have been drunk to the point of blind, to the point where i couldnt get off the floor to have a wee (yep! i did). But as i say, i dont drink now, no reason, may have the odd tot every now and then but i dont drink enough to say i drink. (what is your point man!!?)
its this, you may not think it, and you may not feel it now, but its coming. Drinking is next! they will ban drinking and the effects will be far wider spread, and much deeper felt than that of a complete smoking ban.
And you know what? the sooner the better! (of course im bitter.lol)
I have never walked past a group of youths smoking 10 B&H and thought "I could be in big trouble here". I have never seen 15 guys kicking the shit out of 1 guy because they had 1 silk cut to many. I have never known anyone to be in fear of whats going to happen when there partner gets home because they are doing just too much Golden Vaginia!
I have had many a nurse tell me about cancer related drinking patients, I have experienced drunken violence first hand and seen so much drink related violence in my time, i have counselled drink related domestic violence victims, I have lost friends in drink related car crashes and hit and runs. I have had to wait for 4 hours bleeding in A&E while all the drink related emergencies got delt with first. I have seen the nicest people turn to animals after only a few, I have seen people compromise themselves morally and dignity wise after a few, i have seen people blow big business deals because they have had more than a few.
My point is that with teen drinking, violence domestic or otherwise, full casualty rooms on fridays and saturdays, blah blah blah - nanny is coming for you folks.
And you moderates who only have a tot, or a pint after work. you know im not talking about you, but i also know you know who i am talkig about, it not just a few, its a far more significant problem that smoking could ever be. and ok, ones anti social, one is social, but a problem is a problem. and nanny will see to it in time.
...Then who knows whats next??
Love you all, smoker drinkers and total abstainers.
Silent O
from July 1st (and we have all seen the adverts and certainly seen the stickers - they got them in early.lol) - Britain becomes a smoke free nation.
Right! im on me soap box so quiet for a moment because im not liking the way this is being handled!
Dont get me wrong folks, i think the new law is fine, smokers smoke is one of those things that we cant control, it does annoy other people and to that end it should be banned. - I dont buy into the idea of passive smoking. I believe it should be banned for the health of the individuals who start.
Whats really getting on my nerves here is the new bans link to cancer research. - did i miss something really obvious? did my parents not use certain methods of control on me as a kid? (stop windging, whats ya point O?)
My point is this - If, for one second i am to take this ban seriously (with reference to its cancer research link) why dont they take fags off the bloody shelves!!!? if you are serioius about a link to cancer research and you are to be seen to be "doing something about it"! why dont you go the whole bloody hog? take it off shelves, ban it coming into the country via tourists and smugglers, i mean a complete wipeout of tobacco related products.
Instead of this halfarsed milky tea atempt to say we are "doing something about it" - my arse!
But of course, i forgot. taking it off the shelves would create gaps in revenue, it would create significant wholes in the pockets of wolesalers and retailers and tax bill nationwide! and we cant have that!
Look, i would love to say to you all that i welcome the ban but i dont, i see this step as a piss take and a victimization of a minority group who are already in a one down position because they have the habbit.
Help, real help, a real significant step - no, the only step take in the battle against us smokers is a complete removal! do that and i will sign any document or patition needed to carry it through. But this bullshit ban that comes into effect in july is, in my view pointless. - bloody nanny state!
and for all those of you who say we shouldnt have started in the first place you only have yourselves to blame and you wont get my sympathy... - F**KOFF!
Nobody who has ever smoked truely understood what they were getting into, and once your in, well..
So there ya go! ...but i still aint finished!
I dont drink. I have done, i used to, i remember the good old days of my youth being so drunk that i had no idea how i got home and "did i pass my nother when i came in??, what did she say?? what did i say???". I have been drunk to the point of blind, to the point where i couldnt get off the floor to have a wee (yep! i did). But as i say, i dont drink now, no reason, may have the odd tot every now and then but i dont drink enough to say i drink. (what is your point man!!?)
its this, you may not think it, and you may not feel it now, but its coming. Drinking is next! they will ban drinking and the effects will be far wider spread, and much deeper felt than that of a complete smoking ban.
And you know what? the sooner the better! (of course im bitter.lol)
I have never walked past a group of youths smoking 10 B&H and thought "I could be in big trouble here". I have never seen 15 guys kicking the shit out of 1 guy because they had 1 silk cut to many. I have never known anyone to be in fear of whats going to happen when there partner gets home because they are doing just too much Golden Vaginia!
I have had many a nurse tell me about cancer related drinking patients, I have experienced drunken violence first hand and seen so much drink related violence in my time, i have counselled drink related domestic violence victims, I have lost friends in drink related car crashes and hit and runs. I have had to wait for 4 hours bleeding in A&E while all the drink related emergencies got delt with first. I have seen the nicest people turn to animals after only a few, I have seen people compromise themselves morally and dignity wise after a few, i have seen people blow big business deals because they have had more than a few.
My point is that with teen drinking, violence domestic or otherwise, full casualty rooms on fridays and saturdays, blah blah blah - nanny is coming for you folks.
And you moderates who only have a tot, or a pint after work. you know im not talking about you, but i also know you know who i am talkig about, it not just a few, its a far more significant problem that smoking could ever be. and ok, ones anti social, one is social, but a problem is a problem. and nanny will see to it in time.
...Then who knows whats next??
Love you all, smoker drinkers and total abstainers.
Silent O
Is it just me...?
Is it just me or am i right in thinking that Sci-Fi around the world has stepped up big time!?
Heros? Doctor Who? Lost? (what ever happened to that?) - Arent they all just the dogs twitch?
I havent seen anything like Heros since Secret Wars! (only comic buffs will remember that one! and Crisis) But the simple fact is Heros is the one we have all been waiting for - and who doesnt want to be Peter Petrelli (or however you spell it), and isnt Hiro just the greatest character you have ever met! having only just seen the latest episode, isnt Syler just the be all and end all of bad guys!!! But you know we are all waiting to see what Linderman can 'really' do. And how crooked granny Petrelli and Zulu (Hiro's dad) really are. it works on so many levels and the suspence is just fantastic. Just when i though the american sci-fi world had been totally flushed, they put there bare hand in the bowl and pull out a massive gold nugget! - Heros. Get behind it and get on board folks cuz this one deserves a place in the history books!
Speaking of which - I know we all knew it, and it just had to happen but my god! they brought back the master!!!! COMMMEEONN!!!!!! now, before i get to my total uphoria on the subject may i just say that i am not impressed with the choice of actor. yes he is a good actor and yes his face is well know, but folks! hellllooo?? its the Master. We are talking about one of the most dominant screen presences ever, and im not so sure he can pull it off. We shall see, and i missed the first episode because i wanted to go round disney land getting punched by some kid for 3 day! (see Kids!!!)
Now on to the Uphoria - The Masters Back! and lets face it folks, there really is no point in bringing back Daleks if your not going to bring back the Master, and you KNOW you just KNOW! its going to be a matter of time before they have a multipule doctors episode. the s doctors, the 5 doctors, however many next! and a quick message to Eccelston (cuz you know he reads my blog as well.lol) "You Twat!! you were brilliant as doctor who and that was you chance to solidify your place in the hearts and minds of British TV viewers and seal your place in history as the best doctor ever but you have blown mate!! you will now be known as the bloke who didnt stick around long disappointing mate, disappointing. I only hope they give you more of a role in Heros cuz you have yet to make an impact my son! and if you are asked to to do another doctor who episode, please, please, please!! dont think you are so big that you can turn it down - YOU AINT! gone in 60 seconds mate!" but i digress..
So lets do this right! Ladies and gentlemen Welcome to the Dark Half Oscars:-
First Oscar goes to the writers:- bloody hell lads you have put DW back on the map! your stories are the dogs bollocks and you have brought the Time Lord well into the current century, so glad we didnt let the Americans do it because if there is one thing we do best, its write. and you guys are the best writers ever to have worked this awesome piece of brit TV history. Well done boys and girls!
And our second Oscar tonight goes to the good Doctor himself - Now i was going to give you one just for that accent - its amazing how you do the whole scottish english switch but that aside, you are brilliant! Eccleston was good but you have had no problem in replacing him and making this character your own, well done that man! 2 more years and the day you die, there will be an announcement on telly about the landmark performance you have give at this time, keep up the bloody good work! were proud of you son.
All that remains now is to tie in Torchwood with whats happening in DW now, and i can rest in peace.
Yes Torchwood - Manger Balliss - Another Time Lord folks. I knew he was, well he has one of those watches and could do stuff that really only time lords can do. its gona get wild folks, so dont be nippin out between the adverts!
I was going to go through the whole Babylon 5 thing and trekk stuf but no need, i have said enough!
more soon chums. :o)
Heros? Doctor Who? Lost? (what ever happened to that?) - Arent they all just the dogs twitch?
I havent seen anything like Heros since Secret Wars! (only comic buffs will remember that one! and Crisis) But the simple fact is Heros is the one we have all been waiting for - and who doesnt want to be Peter Petrelli (or however you spell it), and isnt Hiro just the greatest character you have ever met! having only just seen the latest episode, isnt Syler just the be all and end all of bad guys!!! But you know we are all waiting to see what Linderman can 'really' do. And how crooked granny Petrelli and Zulu (Hiro's dad) really are. it works on so many levels and the suspence is just fantastic. Just when i though the american sci-fi world had been totally flushed, they put there bare hand in the bowl and pull out a massive gold nugget! - Heros. Get behind it and get on board folks cuz this one deserves a place in the history books!
Speaking of which - I know we all knew it, and it just had to happen but my god! they brought back the master!!!! COMMMEEONN!!!!!! now, before i get to my total uphoria on the subject may i just say that i am not impressed with the choice of actor. yes he is a good actor and yes his face is well know, but folks! hellllooo?? its the Master. We are talking about one of the most dominant screen presences ever, and im not so sure he can pull it off. We shall see, and i missed the first episode because i wanted to go round disney land getting punched by some kid for 3 day! (see Kids!!!)
Now on to the Uphoria - The Masters Back! and lets face it folks, there really is no point in bringing back Daleks if your not going to bring back the Master, and you KNOW you just KNOW! its going to be a matter of time before they have a multipule doctors episode. the s doctors, the 5 doctors, however many next! and a quick message to Eccelston (cuz you know he reads my blog as well.lol) "You Twat!! you were brilliant as doctor who and that was you chance to solidify your place in the hearts and minds of British TV viewers and seal your place in history as the best doctor ever but you have blown mate!! you will now be known as the bloke who didnt stick around long disappointing mate, disappointing. I only hope they give you more of a role in Heros cuz you have yet to make an impact my son! and if you are asked to to do another doctor who episode, please, please, please!! dont think you are so big that you can turn it down - YOU AINT! gone in 60 seconds mate!" but i digress..
So lets do this right! Ladies and gentlemen Welcome to the Dark Half Oscars:-
First Oscar goes to the writers:- bloody hell lads you have put DW back on the map! your stories are the dogs bollocks and you have brought the Time Lord well into the current century, so glad we didnt let the Americans do it because if there is one thing we do best, its write. and you guys are the best writers ever to have worked this awesome piece of brit TV history. Well done boys and girls!
And our second Oscar tonight goes to the good Doctor himself - Now i was going to give you one just for that accent - its amazing how you do the whole scottish english switch but that aside, you are brilliant! Eccleston was good but you have had no problem in replacing him and making this character your own, well done that man! 2 more years and the day you die, there will be an announcement on telly about the landmark performance you have give at this time, keep up the bloody good work! were proud of you son.
All that remains now is to tie in Torchwood with whats happening in DW now, and i can rest in peace.
Yes Torchwood - Manger Balliss - Another Time Lord folks. I knew he was, well he has one of those watches and could do stuff that really only time lords can do. its gona get wild folks, so dont be nippin out between the adverts!
I was going to go through the whole Babylon 5 thing and trekk stuf but no need, i have said enough!
more soon chums. :o)
Tuesday 26 June 2007
Kids!!!
Ya know, last week when i put up my post about my list of rants (One of them being kids) i had loads of other stuff to say that really winds me up about kids.
And dont get me wrong, as you know, i have such love for my son as i am sure you all do for your children. But...
Thats not what im here to talk about. No! Im here to talk about when they really get on ya tits and dont want to administer punishment, you want to deliver payback!!!
So i had all this stuff to say, but then i had the weekend. I went to Euro Disney and want to dedicate this entire blog to the 2 little f**k-ars*s that made my weekend a living hell.
In the number one spot we have Ben (and yes, names have been changed to protect the innocent) Ben is 12, and actually one of my favourite nephews (or was). But this weekend.. well wait and read.
There we are, all 16 of us, me! and the in-laws. deciding what we are goi9ng to do with our day. when Ben, decided to come over and show me his boxing skills. Bens dad is an ex boxer and we used to train together, so over he comes, fists-a-flyin! I had no problem with this, thats what some boys do. So i play along, he hits hard, i hit soft, and all is well with the world. The classic banter betwixt nephew and uncle that has existed for years...
Then he comes back... again.. and again... and again... To the point that it felt like he was there every 5 minutes (though i know it was a lot more) punching me! And dont get me wrong folks, i have a good heart, i am a gentle soul, but this fu*kin kid punching all fu*kin day! I dont think so!!!
So my punching became a lot harder, but that (like his parents), didnt stop him! he came back repeatedly. all damn day, punching and punching and punching. It got embarrassing. fighting with this little kid in the middle of disneyland, you can only imagine how dragged down i felt.
So that ws day one. him punching me all bloody day, his parents doing nothing about it even after request soooo...
Come day two - time for a different tack. I wasnt doing this, or at least that was the plan, but ya know kids!! Just when you think your out, they pull you back in again!
I always tend to make a friend on holiday, everytime i go away. a friend away from friends. and there i am, outside having a ciggy, when this guy says, excuse me, do you know where i can get some cigarettes from? I tell him and them we embark on conversation.
All is going well when, there they are - 3 of them, the 3 annoying kids of the century. I had to say something "Here comes the annoying kids" i said to my new associate, they didnt hear that. But they come over and the rudeness starts, and the hitting starts and they are flicking balls of chewed tissue at me and my new associate makes good his escape - you can only imagine how fucked off i am. I wanted a dark demon from the seventh dimension to come and take them away and do unspeakable things to them - fu*king annoying kids.
But have to say, i lost it. I just lost it! most kids would learn after being hit so hard they want to cry (but i knew he wouldnt, his dad taught him the dont show your emotions method) to back off and not come back. But not this bloody kid. Nope! he decided to step up the pace. So i stepped up my intollerance.
..And ok, maybe it was wrong of me to hold him down and put a hand full of dirt in his underpants in the middle of the Disney parade. but fu*kin kid, what is your problem!!! YOU DO NOT ANNOY ADULTS IN THIS WAY!!!!!
..And hey, i completely hold my hands up to being wrong when, come day 3, after hour 4 of being his punchbag i may have gone just a little too far in burning him with a cigarette (no i didnt put it out on him). But i had had enough. I didnt go away to be punched by some kid for 3 days straight.
And i just know some of you will read this and say how dare you do that (totally outraged), but you know what? if you can allow your kid to repeatedly punch anyone, all day everyday for 3 days solid. then keep your kid away from me cuz im on 20 a day!!!
Do you think my kid would or could do that? - NEVER! not because its not really in him to do that, but 1) because he has proper respect for adults and understands there are some things you just dont do. 2) AS HIS PARENT, I WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BEHAVE IN THAT MANNER WITH ANYONE, EVER!!! - there are few smackable offences, but that would be one of them, and i know he just wouldnt do it.
Dont get me wrong folks, i am not a strict parent and its been so long since i have had to dish out a smack that im not sure if i ever have. But he knows what is right and what is wrong and he gets told - in fact he gets told until he has listened and i know the message is clear and understood, because of there is one thing i have learned this weekend, its this - crap parents = crap kids. and this little fu*k-ar*e has crap parents to love a guide him.
But you know what, the ciggy burn didnt stop him (slowed him down a bit though) but i did find a way, so on to the second kid.
The other kid, who we shall call Bill, aged 8. and an ignorant little bastard if ever i have met one.
So im pushing this stroller along, and getting punched on a regular basis, when Bill discovers that there is a platform at the back of the chair. One he can stand on, and be pushed around on all day long!
Not a problem! the problem comes when the little bastard gets on the platform and says "You! start pushing me NOW BOY!!".
Ok, once the vision of me smashing this little boys head on floor had passed, i walked off. leaving him standing. Someone else can put up with this rude little child.
But just like his annoying older brother, he came back! again and again and again!!
"Push me now boy or im gona kick your ass", "start pushin boy or im gona rip off your head and stick it in your ass", "im gona pull out your tongue and use it to wipe your ass if you dont start pushin"... and so on and so on. whilst all bloody day im getting punched but the other annoying kid.
And then it came to me - my method of dealing with both of these rude annoying children. knowing the family as i do. If there was one thing they would never want to be associated with - ever! is being gay. Well, with all of little Bills refererences to my ass, how could i pass up this opportunity to have a word.
"You've been talking about doing things to my ass all day, is there something i need to tell your dad?".
"What?" - the look of horror on his face; tell my dad im gay?? oh my god!! and off he went.
he came back, "Push this chair now or im gona.."
"Lety me guess, do something to my ass? if you need me to tell you dad your gay i will, just say the word, but i think he already knows." ..and off he went never to be seen again.
And the other annoying kid got delt with the same way. I implied he was gay, and never saw him again, well not till it was time to say goodbye. How the oddest of fears can rule such a thick attitude.
Dont get me wrong folks, i love kids to, and i love them fiesty and cheeky, even the boysterous ones can be ok.lol i love them calm and quiet and tired and proud and playful and happy and excited and so much more, but when they fall well into the land of the rude and annoying, get me my stick, its swingin time!
And dont get me wrong, as you know, i have such love for my son as i am sure you all do for your children. But...
Thats not what im here to talk about. No! Im here to talk about when they really get on ya tits and dont want to administer punishment, you want to deliver payback!!!
So i had all this stuff to say, but then i had the weekend. I went to Euro Disney and want to dedicate this entire blog to the 2 little f**k-ars*s that made my weekend a living hell.
In the number one spot we have Ben (and yes, names have been changed to protect the innocent) Ben is 12, and actually one of my favourite nephews (or was). But this weekend.. well wait and read.
There we are, all 16 of us, me! and the in-laws. deciding what we are goi9ng to do with our day. when Ben, decided to come over and show me his boxing skills. Bens dad is an ex boxer and we used to train together, so over he comes, fists-a-flyin! I had no problem with this, thats what some boys do. So i play along, he hits hard, i hit soft, and all is well with the world. The classic banter betwixt nephew and uncle that has existed for years...
Then he comes back... again.. and again... and again... To the point that it felt like he was there every 5 minutes (though i know it was a lot more) punching me! And dont get me wrong folks, i have a good heart, i am a gentle soul, but this fu*kin kid punching all fu*kin day! I dont think so!!!
So my punching became a lot harder, but that (like his parents), didnt stop him! he came back repeatedly. all damn day, punching and punching and punching. It got embarrassing. fighting with this little kid in the middle of disneyland, you can only imagine how dragged down i felt.
So that ws day one. him punching me all bloody day, his parents doing nothing about it even after request soooo...
Come day two - time for a different tack. I wasnt doing this, or at least that was the plan, but ya know kids!! Just when you think your out, they pull you back in again!
I always tend to make a friend on holiday, everytime i go away. a friend away from friends. and there i am, outside having a ciggy, when this guy says, excuse me, do you know where i can get some cigarettes from? I tell him and them we embark on conversation.
All is going well when, there they are - 3 of them, the 3 annoying kids of the century. I had to say something "Here comes the annoying kids" i said to my new associate, they didnt hear that. But they come over and the rudeness starts, and the hitting starts and they are flicking balls of chewed tissue at me and my new associate makes good his escape - you can only imagine how fucked off i am. I wanted a dark demon from the seventh dimension to come and take them away and do unspeakable things to them - fu*king annoying kids.
But have to say, i lost it. I just lost it! most kids would learn after being hit so hard they want to cry (but i knew he wouldnt, his dad taught him the dont show your emotions method) to back off and not come back. But not this bloody kid. Nope! he decided to step up the pace. So i stepped up my intollerance.
..And ok, maybe it was wrong of me to hold him down and put a hand full of dirt in his underpants in the middle of the Disney parade. but fu*kin kid, what is your problem!!! YOU DO NOT ANNOY ADULTS IN THIS WAY!!!!!
..And hey, i completely hold my hands up to being wrong when, come day 3, after hour 4 of being his punchbag i may have gone just a little too far in burning him with a cigarette (no i didnt put it out on him). But i had had enough. I didnt go away to be punched by some kid for 3 days straight.
And i just know some of you will read this and say how dare you do that (totally outraged), but you know what? if you can allow your kid to repeatedly punch anyone, all day everyday for 3 days solid. then keep your kid away from me cuz im on 20 a day!!!
Do you think my kid would or could do that? - NEVER! not because its not really in him to do that, but 1) because he has proper respect for adults and understands there are some things you just dont do. 2) AS HIS PARENT, I WOULD NOT ALLOW HIM TO BEHAVE IN THAT MANNER WITH ANYONE, EVER!!! - there are few smackable offences, but that would be one of them, and i know he just wouldnt do it.
Dont get me wrong folks, i am not a strict parent and its been so long since i have had to dish out a smack that im not sure if i ever have. But he knows what is right and what is wrong and he gets told - in fact he gets told until he has listened and i know the message is clear and understood, because of there is one thing i have learned this weekend, its this - crap parents = crap kids. and this little fu*k-ar*e has crap parents to love a guide him.
But you know what, the ciggy burn didnt stop him (slowed him down a bit though) but i did find a way, so on to the second kid.
The other kid, who we shall call Bill, aged 8. and an ignorant little bastard if ever i have met one.
So im pushing this stroller along, and getting punched on a regular basis, when Bill discovers that there is a platform at the back of the chair. One he can stand on, and be pushed around on all day long!
Not a problem! the problem comes when the little bastard gets on the platform and says "You! start pushing me NOW BOY!!".
Ok, once the vision of me smashing this little boys head on floor had passed, i walked off. leaving him standing. Someone else can put up with this rude little child.
But just like his annoying older brother, he came back! again and again and again!!
"Push me now boy or im gona kick your ass", "start pushin boy or im gona rip off your head and stick it in your ass", "im gona pull out your tongue and use it to wipe your ass if you dont start pushin"... and so on and so on. whilst all bloody day im getting punched but the other annoying kid.
And then it came to me - my method of dealing with both of these rude annoying children. knowing the family as i do. If there was one thing they would never want to be associated with - ever! is being gay. Well, with all of little Bills refererences to my ass, how could i pass up this opportunity to have a word.
"You've been talking about doing things to my ass all day, is there something i need to tell your dad?".
"What?" - the look of horror on his face; tell my dad im gay?? oh my god!! and off he went.
he came back, "Push this chair now or im gona.."
"Lety me guess, do something to my ass? if you need me to tell you dad your gay i will, just say the word, but i think he already knows." ..and off he went never to be seen again.
And the other annoying kid got delt with the same way. I implied he was gay, and never saw him again, well not till it was time to say goodbye. How the oddest of fears can rule such a thick attitude.
Dont get me wrong folks, i love kids to, and i love them fiesty and cheeky, even the boysterous ones can be ok.lol i love them calm and quiet and tired and proud and playful and happy and excited and so much more, but when they fall well into the land of the rude and annoying, get me my stick, its swingin time!
Return of the Bastard
Ya know, i recently had the pleasure of being judged by my peers. A thrilling experience if ever there was one, and before now, i have always known what they would say. "Nice guy","sweet, gentle", "always great to have you around","your opinion is always so different and so valued". I always know what they would say.
But this time was different!
Dont get me wrong, i got the usual good stuff but even that was different, rather than all the above, it was stuff like "we love your endless good spirit", "You make us really think", "You are such a stong and wonderful person"etc, and dont get me wrong, i was really excited to have a load of new strokes that i could work on and play with and maximise, but then it came!
What can i compare it too? (wait for it!)
It was like Jeckle's Hyde , Angel's Angelus, Spiderman's symbiot. Part of me heard what was said and woke up big time! I have spent such a long time inprisoning this part of myself, hoping it would not get out, hoping it would not upset the fine balance, hoping he would never have control - but that final comment that came changed everything (wait for it.lol). It was as if parts of myself were rubbing there hands with glee "You heard, its our turn now". And the person they all spoke of so fondly was about to be pushed to the back of the cue.
So what was said???
"We want you to be a bastard!", now there was more than that, what they actually said was "We want you to be a bastard and we know you have the emotional intelligence to handle that with respect". But have to say, not sure i heard that last bit. So what basically went on for me?
The Bastard is waiting to step forward
The Adventurer is waiting to step forward
(the bastard speaks) And i have to tell you folks, its long overdue! locked away all that time, you can only imagine what i have to say, and what goes on in this very sharp mind. I have an opinion on everything! and it will be made known soon enough, no more hiding, no more considering others and no more Silent Observation - Ive seen enough!
Its just time to be a little self indulgent, and time to put me first. - the bastard is back! :o)
(As for the adventurer) Well, Lets see where this goes shall we :o)
And there you have it folks, the return of the bastard. Not so much of a return as a totally new experience. No longer the fantasy, no longer the voice inside my head, inside looking out. But the new presenting face of me. Up front, and as personal as i choose.
But still a nice guy really. :o)
But this time was different!
Dont get me wrong, i got the usual good stuff but even that was different, rather than all the above, it was stuff like "we love your endless good spirit", "You make us really think", "You are such a stong and wonderful person"etc, and dont get me wrong, i was really excited to have a load of new strokes that i could work on and play with and maximise, but then it came!
What can i compare it too? (wait for it!)
It was like Jeckle's Hyde , Angel's Angelus, Spiderman's symbiot. Part of me heard what was said and woke up big time! I have spent such a long time inprisoning this part of myself, hoping it would not get out, hoping it would not upset the fine balance, hoping he would never have control - but that final comment that came changed everything (wait for it.lol). It was as if parts of myself were rubbing there hands with glee "You heard, its our turn now". And the person they all spoke of so fondly was about to be pushed to the back of the cue.
So what was said???
"We want you to be a bastard!", now there was more than that, what they actually said was "We want you to be a bastard and we know you have the emotional intelligence to handle that with respect". But have to say, not sure i heard that last bit. So what basically went on for me?
The Bastard is waiting to step forward
The Adventurer is waiting to step forward
(the bastard speaks) And i have to tell you folks, its long overdue! locked away all that time, you can only imagine what i have to say, and what goes on in this very sharp mind. I have an opinion on everything! and it will be made known soon enough, no more hiding, no more considering others and no more Silent Observation - Ive seen enough!
Its just time to be a little self indulgent, and time to put me first. - the bastard is back! :o)
(As for the adventurer) Well, Lets see where this goes shall we :o)
And there you have it folks, the return of the bastard. Not so much of a return as a totally new experience. No longer the fantasy, no longer the voice inside my head, inside looking out. But the new presenting face of me. Up front, and as personal as i choose.
But still a nice guy really. :o)
Thursday 21 June 2007
Bare with me
Hi ya blog buds; do bare with me, i am currently going through my own assignent hell at the moment but have loads to share with you.
I fact, while im here, let me give you a brief list of topics to come, topics that are getting on my wick at the moment:
Global warming
kids
crap holidays
people who hate people who like porn
customer service
crap therapists
crap partners and relationships
And topics that i want to share my warmest feelings about:
Love
sex and desire
universal energy
connection
the importance of the quiet individual
and if your really good - me. :o)
will be back soon folks so do not dispair.
ooh, nearly forgot: by special request, i will also share with you "the return of the basta@d" - yes me.lol long story but you are going to hear it all soon. (this is going to be a good one!)
And in reference to my last blog, thank you all for your warmth, you have left me feeling supported and cared for, thank you.
Love
The Silent Observer :o)
I fact, while im here, let me give you a brief list of topics to come, topics that are getting on my wick at the moment:
Global warming
kids
crap holidays
people who hate people who like porn
customer service
crap therapists
crap partners and relationships
And topics that i want to share my warmest feelings about:
Love
sex and desire
universal energy
connection
the importance of the quiet individual
and if your really good - me. :o)
will be back soon folks so do not dispair.
ooh, nearly forgot: by special request, i will also share with you "the return of the basta@d" - yes me.lol long story but you are going to hear it all soon. (this is going to be a good one!)
And in reference to my last blog, thank you all for your warmth, you have left me feeling supported and cared for, thank you.
Love
The Silent Observer :o)
Thursday 14 June 2007
My Need To...
For those of you i have been lucky enough to speak to, here it is.
For the first time i can think of, I find myself faced with a very real pain. My son had a fit yesterday and i didnt get my chance to panic or cry or to connect with some of the thoughts that passed through my mind. So i shall do it here as elsewhere is not an option.
I arrived home to see 3 crying women trying to console each other in there grief(his mother and 2 sisters) And another, (his aunt)on the phone calling an ambulance. My son is on the floor, snoring short breaths as though struggling for air. Immediatley I dont have time to cry, console or be consoled, my son needs me, and i drop to my knees. TV has taught us that when someone is unconscious, talk to them. And so i begin, saying all the things that i know would normally get his attention. I stroke is head gently and call his name. "Come help daddy with the game" i say, "come and see the new sweets, and i got you some toys, come on, come play", and i countiue to stroke his hair. I cant see his eyes, and as stroke and talk softly of promises to go and play in the mud, a flicker of his eyelids. "Thats it! come on, come play". and then an air of panic across his face which quickly turns to frustration. Almost as if he was trying to get to me but was stuck behind glass. his eyes close. and i talk some more "Daddy, meeeee! has got you a special present waiting for when you come over, i wont tell you what it is, its a secret". and his eye open again, wider than before; but still he sleeps.
For a split second i look at my son and i cant see him. I cant see my boy. I stroke his hair and talk sweetly to him but he is not my boy. My boy has not yet come back, only a shell it seems, The fit he had lasted 6 minutes, a long time by any standard, and i wonder if this child i see before me, i wonder if this child will take the place of my boy. No! i say to myself. This is not good enough, i want Bear, i want my boy, as he was as i know him, as i have grown with him as i love him I want MY son.
His eyes close again, and his sleep seemed deeper, and his breathing slowed to a rate that alarmed me greatly.THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN - NOT ON THIS DAY AND NOT TO THIS BOY, MY BOY, NOT NOW NOT EVER!!! This shining light, my son is to precious to the world. He spreads joy and laughter everywhere he goes. His personality to strong to be taken form so many, from me. He will do great things, if not in his own life then in the lives of others. My miracle. My blood, My son.
I can feel my heart breaking as, just for a moment, i thought he would slip away, taken by Death, that sneak-thief, that taker of life. NOT MY BOY!!! My heart cannot break yet. Not all has been done. He still breaths, and as long as there is breath my body, there will be breath in his. A serge of strength and power and positive energy shone from me catching my son in its light.
He came round, well sort of. His eyes stopped rolling back and he had mumbled, this was progress. And then the ambulance man came. "Look B, the ambulance mans here and he's got loads of cool toys!" My son bearly manages to respond and he just looks tired and ready to sleep.
The medic stood and asked questions, i answered as best i could and as straight as i could, his manner changed when he realised he was dealing with a rational parent. All the time my mind playing the vision of me begging this man to save my boy. But no time, no time to have that broken heart.
The oxygen mask goes on and there he is. Theres my boy. My Bear. He is groggy and wonders whats going on. The medics check him over and i carry him to the ambulance only wearing his underwear.
It was raining. and i picked him up and held him in my arms. My boy. I have held him may times in his 4.5 years on this earth but this was as significant and as precious a moment as the first day i held him, the day he as born. I looked down and kissed his forhead, as i did that day, and like that day i repeated my oath to him, the first words i ever spoke to him, the first words he heard from me -EVER!
"Im daddy, and i will always be here". He snuggles into me and i feel a warm glow. He is going to be ok.
I have written this because of my need. My need to have that broken heart. To cry my eyes out at the thought of nearly loosing my son before my very eyes, taken by death without the consderation of the devestation it would cause. I need to get intouch with the gieving and the deep sadness i felt, that i didnt get the chance to connect with whilst those around me connected with theres. It is haunting me and must have it and soon. It will not go away and it will not rest. And i dont want it to. Those feelings can eat at your core if youlet them. I want, must, need, to fullfill my need, i just cant carry it, and its too strong to just hide away. I can hold it off but only at the promise that its time will come, and soon.
I was sooo gutted - My little boy!
And through this experience, my heart goes out to those who have been in a similar position where something had happened to there children that they could not stop as it happened before there very eyes, or worst, they lost there child. My heart goes out to you. You are unsung heros in my book, and dont see yourselves as anything less. You have suffered one of the greatest losses a human-being could experience and you have come out the otherside. Your identity, though it can never be the same, carries you to another day. Shine,for you are diamonds and you are stars. and to you i send my love.
As for Bear, well he came home and we have to keep an eye on him but he is back to his normal self. He even offered to body-slam the biggest of male nurses and the hospital if he tickled his foot. in a funny way of course. :o)
Anyway, my appologies for such a somber first message, but here it is. And i leave you now to go and contemplate my need.
Love hugs kisses - TheSilentObserver
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