Return of the Bastard

Ya know, i recently had the pleasure of being judged by my peers. A thrilling experience if ever there was one, and before now, i have always known what they would say. "Nice guy","sweet, gentle", "always great to have you around","your opinion is always so different and so valued". I always know what they would say.


But this time was different!

Dont get me wrong, i got the usual good stuff but even that was different, rather than all the above, it was stuff like "we love your endless good spirit", "You make us really think", "You are such a stong and wonderful person"etc, and dont get me wrong, i was really excited to have a load of new strokes that i could work on and play with and maximise, but then it came!


What can i compare it too? (wait for it!)


It was like Jeckle's Hyde , Angel's Angelus, Spiderman's symbiot. Part of me heard what was said and woke up big time! I have spent such a long time inprisoning this part of myself, hoping it would not get out, hoping it would not upset the fine balance, hoping he would never have control - but that final comment that came changed everything (wait for it.lol). It was as if parts of myself were rubbing there hands with glee "You heard, its our turn now". And the person they all spoke of so fondly was about to be pushed to the back of the cue.


So what was said???


"We want you to be a bastard!", now there was more than that, what they actually said was "We want you to be a bastard and we know you have the emotional intelligence to handle that with respect". But have to say, not sure i heard that last bit. So what basically went on for me?


The Bastard is waiting to step forward


The Adventurer is waiting to step forward


(the bastard speaks) And i have to tell you folks, its long overdue! locked away all that time, you can only imagine what i have to say, and what goes on in this very sharp mind. I have an opinion on everything! and it will be made known soon enough, no more hiding, no more considering others and no more Silent Observation - Ive seen enough!


Its just time to be a little self indulgent, and time to put me first. - the bastard is back! :o)



(As for the adventurer) Well, Lets see where this goes shall we :o)


And there you have it folks, the return of the bastard. Not so much of a return as a totally new experience. No longer the fantasy, no longer the voice inside my head, inside looking out. But the new presenting face of me. Up front, and as personal as i choose.

But still a nice guy really. :o)